I'm OK!

For those that were wondering, I'm OK.

I'm in Auckland, which is on the North Island, whilst Christchurch is on the South Island.

But thanks for thinking of me :)

Green Certified

Hi, you might notice a new banner on my pages - one that states I'm using 100% wind energy for this site.




Ironic, considering I don't like the Greens much, hey?

However, I do believe in Climate Change and making the world less reliant on fossil fuels, particularly oil and coal, so that's why I'm proud to have this on my website.

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you...

Well then...

Since October I've been to Bali for Peachy & Nat's wedding. It was a pretty good trip, and I loved catching up with everyone from Adelaide. It's so funny how you just click back into hold habits and patterns around old friends.

But to be honest, I was completely shattered financially because of the trip plus having to move out in October. Then afterwards I simply didn't work enough hours at Vertex / Telstra and was in a pretty bad state of affairs. Pretty much sold everything portable that I never use - DS, PSP, iPod, Camera. Selling my camera hurts. Also sold my dex and mixer.

However, fate had better plans. Actually, people may say fate, but to be brutally honest, it was all me. I left my crap job at Vertex / Telstra and moved to Auckland, New Zealand to continue my career in games.

I'm working for Gameloft, and until recently was Assistant Producer on an iPhone game, and now I'm Producer on another game and another console. Can't be more specific than that, I'm afraid... NDAs and all that...

Most of my stuff is in storage in Melbourne. Not sure if I'll get it sent over, or if I'll sell it all or what. I do want it here, especially my bed! but maybe when I'm a bit more settled.

Auckland is kind of dull. Admittedly I haven't been out much - been to a strip bar which wasn't that great - I mean, sure, "Yay titties" but if you can only look there's always the internet and it doesn't cost $20 entry and $10 for a beer. I'd have tipped the ladies more if it wasn't so damn expensive!

Apart from that place, drinks are reasonably priced. Food is a little on the expensive side, although comparable to Australia I guess. I've found a couple of nice asian places around my flat, and they're not bad, but I'm yet to find a place that does a Parma for a decent price.

I ended up going to the Big Day Out in Auckland. I wasn't going to go this year, but thought new city, new country, might be fun. It was, but not all that different to any other BDO really.

I found I spent most of the time on the side stages. And I caught quite a few NZ groups - one which were a poor man's White Stripes - a male/female duo playing one instrument each song, but they were quite enjoyable.

When I went to many of my trips to the bar, I discovered a band called Family Cactus, who had about 7 people on stage, and who sounded very "Radiohead", but not nearly as miserable. I really enjoyed them, and will try and track down their albums.

Kora, a NZ funk/soul band, who should have been in the Boiler room, just because they had a better "dance" sound than Mt Eden Dubstep who were on at the same time. Kora had a great sound, that New Zealand funk/soul/dance sound of Supergroove or Fat Freddy’s Drop, and it was appreciated by a massive crowd.

Although to be fair Mt Eden Dubstep were ok... too wobbly for my tastes, but maybe it was the fact that thousands were singing along with their tracks it didn't want to make me put a knitting needle through my ear like most dubstep sets I’ve had to endure. Maybe they’re just better DJs than Melbourne / Adelaide dubstep DJs, but the fact remains they were just DJs and I’d have preferred to see a live act in the boiler room.

Bloody Beetroots were like a poor man's Daft Punk. Sure, they had more equipment on stage and were “live”, and the lightshow wasn't as nearly spectacular, but they were dull as fuck. What is it with Electro acts?

Die Antwoord are a must. Yeah, their music sucks, but fuck me these guys are entertaining on stage. It's like Vanilla Ice had a baby with Dali, and he decided to partner up with the ideal Aryan woman, especially in the fact she should be seen and NOT heard (you’ll understand me when she sings), and they've decided to make hiphop without really understanding what hiphop is.

This year seemed to be the year of the Gimmick - even Sia came out on stage covered in black & white paint, constrained in a box. She's so fucking cute though, and the crowd may have been soaked, we had a ball!

Rammstien win out though – flares, explosions, blood and flame fucking throwers!

Iggy Pop was Iggy Pop – as frantic and crazy on stage as always. Their set is an album set, not the usual best of, so if you're not a huge Stooges fan, you'll probably be pissed he didn't play Lust for Life.

And Tool were Tool. If you’re a fan, you might like it, but I thought they were pretty dull.

I completely missed LCD sound system – they were on the same time as Primal Scream, who were by far the best act of the day.

Doing an album live has its own pitfalls - for example the Pixies were record perfect - you could have been in the studio with them, not on stage with thousands of people. And as I mentioned before about Iggy & the Stooges, for someone who isn’t a fan, you wonder where all the good songs are.

But Scream have decided to do something different, because in the 20 years since Screamadelica their sound has changed to be a lot more blues/rock influenced. Part of this is the different producers they've worked with, part from the introduction of Stone Roses' Mani on Bass. They've taken that on board, and have redone the seminal dance/rock album and educated it with the rock/blues mentality. So it rocks out, led by Mani’s amazing bass playing, but still amazingly uplifting and soulful.

And those who know me know I've seen a lot of acts - and Primal Scream's Screamadelica Live is up in the top 10, for sure.

Art Movements for Fun and Profit

I went to the Art Gallery a while back with my friend Ritters, and we wandered into the "modern art" section.

Looking at the ridiculous painting of white on white, and a long beam painted black, and other equally rubbish "artworks" got me thinking.

Warhol, Picasso, Dali, etc were all part of different movements. A single yet diverse field of artists united with a common goal. You know this, of course.

You also know they made money out of it.

So, I theorised that to make money from Art, you need to be part of a movement.

Based on minimalist modern art, I've come up with a sure fire way to make money out of art with the amount of work.

It shall be called "Lazyism".

Unfinished pieces. Splatters on canvas. Hell, splatters on the drop rug. "Found art". "Reimagined art". Pastiche / cut and paste. Photochops. Unedited Video. Photos. You know, stuff anybody could do, and everybody does.

The thing is, you need to stand apart from everybody else. The way to do this these days is not to actually do something different with your art, but just market yourself as if you're different.

I could do a show all about lazy works, charge $5 a head, sell the works for few hundred!

(although technically putting on a show doesn't follow the Lazyism creed, but we can work around that for now)

I will be rich... eventually, when people realise my genius!

I've already started on my first piece. I'm going to get a piece of canvas and lay it on the ground. Throw some paint on it, and then leave it. Let bugs and dirt and leaves and shit fall on it.

Sure, I'm too lazy to start it yet, but I will eventually.

But I'll also need other works.

So, artists, I'm sure you'd have half finished stuff around you've got no time to finish.

I say fuck it, we'll just show it. You don't need to do anything to it. In fact, doing something to it is against the Lazyism creed!

(By the way, I actually typed this back when Ritters was over visiting... I've just been too lazy to post it, until now. Now I need the money...)

"You're a bit of an asshole, aren't you"

I was at this club I've been to a couple of times, and I actually never knew the area was Collingwood until Saturday night

Anyway, I'm standing there talking to this guy about him being in the Cech Army, as you do, when this girl whos' sitting on a chair on the table opposite me looks at me and gestures for me to come over.

I think "allllllrrrright!!!" and gingerly go over to her, and lean down to hear her.

She says: "You're a bit of an asshole, aren't you".

Sure, I've been out of the game for a while, but I gotta admit that's the strangest pick up line I've ever heard. However, she was obviously a Collingwood supporter, so you know, could be their mating call.

I say "how do you mean?"

She then dribbles some shit about me talking about her. Somehow, even though until the point where she gestured to me did I even look in her direction, she thought we were talking about her.

I just looked at her. I was dumbfounded.

Then I said "Sorry love, you're mistaken" and wandered off. Of course, after this incident, I proceeded to talk about her, telling my friends of just what happened (they all thought I was going to pick up too)

Fucking Collingwood supporters.

They're all as bad as each other...

Before you vote Green this election because you don't like Lib/Lab, remember, they are just the same, only smaller.

They want to work within the system, so therefore they are part of the system and therefore part of the problem.

After all, how can such a "progressive party" who are so positive about Climate Change and Internet Filtering and all those nice and feely good things endorse someone like Dr Clive Hamilton, the so-called ethics professor, whose ethical standards are about that of a male bulldog with blue balls in a room full of bitches on heat...

http://www.somebodythinkofthechildren.com/clive-hamilton-accuses-critic-of-trying-to-silence-him/

http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s2951430.htm

http://www.arnnet.com.au/article/323758/greens_split_isp_filtering/

Remember, for Hitler to get into power, some Jews would have voted for him as well...

FunkyJ & the psycho

I was recently asked to be a reporter for a games website - justpushstart.com

One of my first stories was going to be on Michael Atkinson and how he, after accusing the Liberals of inventing a person to criticise him in the newspapers, was doing it himself. I had grand dreams of bringing Atkinson to his knees and him resigning in disgrace.

So, for my story I did a bit of research and came up with a lead, and, as I've been properly trained to by the good folks at the University of South Australia, I followed up on that lead with a simple email inquiry.

However, it turns out I was wrong.

The person I thought was an Atkinson plant turned out to be real, and indeed wrote an article which was published. In a sense, you can say I did "an Atkinson".

And although the author of this article holds a difference of opinion to me, I find that perfectly acceptable as I am civil enough to respect peoples difference of opinion.

However, here's where things get a bit crazy.

Although I made a simple inquiry via email, the person I contacted decided rather than reply to my email like a civil, mature, and well adjusted person finding themselves in the same position would, they would visit my website, find out my gamertag, and reply to me via Xbox Live.

This is incredibly creepy.

You may say "but Funky J, you stalked this person yourself!" but you would be wrong.

I had a legitimate reasonable doubt to the authenticity of this publication, and was following a lead for a story I was planning to write. Following leads is what all good journalists do before writing a story.

You see, instead of just accusing people of being fake like Michael Atkinson did, I did my research and found a lead, which I followed. I told that lead up front why I was contacting them, what I was doing, and what my angle would be. That was to be the extent of my contact with them if they so wished it. I was wrong, so I will not pursue that story nor will I contact that individual again over this matter.

However, I feel this person responded in what I consider is the most childish fashion imaginable by stalking me and accusing me of harassment. What makes this worse is this individual holds a valuable position within society and under normal circumstances would be seen as an upstanding citizen.

So I'd just like to take this opportunity to suggest to this individual they should think about how they respond to people in the media in future. Something like this might look bad if, for example, I had good friends in the media or maybe related to their field of employment, or even a good cop friend, and had a mention of this odd behavior in their ear.

But then again I'm just a immature gamer, I couldn't possibly know anyone of any importance... Could I?

Seriously good at my job

OK, ok, I know I promised to update this site more often, but it's not happening.

Firstly, I don't like posting from my iphone. I find the app too annoying, and the touch keypad too awkward for long posts.

I'm getting up at 6am, getting home at 6pm, and when I get home from work I just want to catch up on the day I've missed by reading Kotaku, IO9, Gizmodo, The Older Gamers, inthemix, Penny Arcade, my Google Reader links, and Facebook.

And of course, cook and eat dinner, watch the news, and play videogames. Because of the early mornings and 2 hour travelling time a day, by 10pm I'm ready for bed.

So I have very little time to blog.

And besides, I'd just bitch about how much I fucking hate Call Centre work for exposing me to the flotsam and jetsam of this great country we call Australia, which is hardly productive.

Unsurprisingly enough, I'm very good at my job. I came second in the class overall after James, who has worked in a call centre with the program Seibel before.

I also got a 100% Customer Satisfaction Survey in my first week, and hit most of the early targets that have been set for us n00bs.

And the call centre has some of the nicest looking women I have seen in Melbourne to date.

But I can't help but think, when I'm applying myself like this to a shit job that's going to take me nowhere and make me hate most of the obviously underprivileged people of whom I used to call Brothers and Sisters in the fight against "Da Man!" by exposing me to their sheer stupidity and unwillingness to learn (I mean how fucking hard is it to understand a god damn phone bill!? ), what do you think is going to happen when I get a decent job in gaming or music journalism?

Actually I can see my eagerness and amazing talent is probably frightening to perspective employers, and I think that's why I have been unsuccessful in gaining a job in games or music journalism to date...

Why Download Movie Services will never beat pirates.

Easy Rider.


Dennis Hopper died today, and Easy Rider is one of my favourite films. I don't own it, and haven't previously copied it from a friend, so it's not in my collection.

I thought I had it on video tape, but I was wrong... I've got Roadside Prophets instead, which is a homage to Easy Rider and has Adam Horovitz (Adrock from the Beastie Boys) in it...

Anyway, it's very cold outside, the video store is ages away up a hill, I'm warm and toasted, and besides, my flatmate has my video store card and she'd in Adelaide at the moment.

So I thought "aha! These movie download services should have it!" So I looked on Xbox, PS3, and bigpond downloads.

Nothing.

Dennis Hopper has died, and they don't have Easy Rider up on their service.*

These systems are meant to be instant and applicable to modern life. Why isn't there a whole heap of Hopper Films in these libraries?

I know if I did go the video store I could get something he's in that I like - Easy Rider, Blue Velvet, Apocalypse Now.

Look at the instantaneous nature of the rest of the web: heaps of people are posting and linking youtube videos to their facebook in tribute to him.

And when I look at the torrents sites, I find it instantly, and with the amount of interest in the film there are thousands of others downloading it, meaning I can grab it within an hour.



This is such a huge wasted opportunity for the Movie Industry as a whole, and also the download services provided by Sony, Microsoft and Bigpond, and if these services want to compete with piracy and traditional retail stores, then they've got to offer something pirates and retail stores do but at a better quality and better price and move to take advantage of the immediacy of the internet.



*EDIT: I did find it in the iPhone Store, but I'm not going to buy it if I can't watch it through my TV. I stream video through my Xbox or PS3 to the TV. I'm not hooked up otherwise, so can't stream Apple bought shows through the house to the TV without first hacking them.

If anyone knows an easy way to do this let me know ;)

RAGE!

OK, with YouTube now bringing music clips to the masses, I thought I'd start a weekly "If I were to host Rage" post showcasing my favourite songs and more importantly why I like them

I can't remember who introduced me to Cracker, but this song reminds me of being a teenager. I definitely love the lyric "what the world needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole in the head"
Cracker - Teen Angst.




This reminds me of my good mates back in Adelaide. We used to play D&D and Doom together. Once, my friend Kris started singing alternative lyrics to this song when we were driving and we almost had an accident we were laughing so hard. I still giggle when I hear it.
Queen - Bicycle Race



This was one of the first records I owned. I used to scratch it up on my mum's turntable. She busted me once and I got a hiding and didn't touch records for another 10 years.
Herbie Hancock - Rockit



This track reminds me of when I changed my mind about being in love with a certain girl.
Lyrics Born - I Changed My Mind



Pop Will Eat Itself hold a very special place in my heart, because their music led me places I probably wouldn't have ventured if I never heard them. It was them who led me to Electronic and HipHop music.

Lots of people have songs which remind them of other people and other times. This song in particular reminds me of who I am and why I'm still here.
Pop Will Eat Itself - Dance of the Mad Bastards

Politricks

All these opinion pages and blogs and journalists have simply got it wrong.  

I can't understand why none of the so-called political pundits can't figure out what the UK poll, what the Tasmanian Poll, the SA Poll, what the closeness of the Obama win, and so on and so on REALLY means.


It doesn't mean Conservative / Right are winning / losing to the Progressive / Left.

It means people are sick of the current political process. They're sick of the two party political system. They're sick of Lib / Lab, Lab / Tory, Dem / Reps. Sick of the corruption and the lies and the spin. Sick of being fucked over by big business with the support of big government.

Mark my words. By the end of this decade, there will be a land war in Europe and it will be in part because the people were simply fed up with the political processes which result in parties which are too similar, and will vote in an extremist party of some kind who will either a) kill a whole lot of people who they believe don't belong or b) invade another country because of a).

Help me Obi Wan...

So, I just had my friend around, and we worked on getting her resume from PDF into an editable format.

I won't go into details, a google search will help you do it if you ever need it done, but it made me realise that I really like helping people, especially one on one.

I like showing them how to do things, how to solve issues and how to get the best out of what they are working with.

Because even with what I do know about the topic at hand, I'll still discover things I didn't in helping other people out.

My assistant producer role was like this. I helped people do stuff they couldn't, whether it was through lack of knowledge or lack of time. And I learned so much about the process of making games.

Even though they're pitching my new role in the call centre as being very similar, I'm not entirely sure I'm going to be as good in it. I don't know, I just find something disagreeable about it at the moment.

I hope my trainers and I can identify my issues and work on it before it gets too late and I simply hate the job altogether.

First day of the rest of my life?

OK, so I completed my first day at PCI today.

It took me over an hour to get there by public transport, and even longer to get home. Thing is, I if I rode a bike, it wouldn't take longer than half an hour I reckon! Must discover a better route, especially if I ever have early starts.

On my first day, it felt a lot like being back in highschool.

That's not a criticism, just a statement. After all, our trainer was a highschool teacher, and we were sat in a class with a whole heap of people we didn't know. It was that kind of nervous and excited feeling.

We did a heap of team building stuff, as well as "get to know you" things. There's a few DJs and musos in my group, so that's pretty cool.


Although... and don't get me wrong, the place seems really cool and laid back... we met the "big boss" and he was pretty damn laid back, and PCI seems to have a culture that's rather casual, fun even, as long as you get your work done. The people who work there look happy, and you can tell on the whole people enjoy their jobs.

Thing is... It's just that finding out so many people were DJs/musos reminded me of Spaced, season 2 episode 3 called "Mettle", where Daisy is working in that horrid kitchen in an excellent take off of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest...

Daisy: I can't do this!
Tina (aka the evil nurse): Excuse me?
Daisy: I'm a writer. I'm creative. I'm not a "mopper'"
Tina: They're all writers Daisy.
Daisy: (incredulous) What?
Tina: All the staff here are writers.
Daisy: Not Harris
Tina: Haikus I believe. Charlie there is an actor but he's writing some play...
Daisy: Even Billy?
Tina: Even Billy.
Billy: (stutters) I...I..I was published in '97. It was just a short story... I came here in '98
Tina: They're all creative Daisy. Not just you. Now get creative with this (throws mop at her)

The video is available on youtube (sorry, no embedding, and the bit starts at 6:50... However, I recommend watching the whole episode! It's awesome!)

Last day at Krome tomorrow

It will be my last day at Krome tomorrow.

I'm unemployed once again!

Fortunately I've got an interview on Thursday for a job which starts Friday, which is completely divorced from the Games Industry.

Not sure if I can do it to be honest. I've had shit jobs before, and whilst this one won't be as shit as them, it won't be what I want to do.

I want to achieve my goal of being a producer on a big title (essentially I want to be 'the next' Dude Huge) but with so many good people out of work all over the world it is incredibly competitive at the moment.

As I'm older than 35, and I don't have a US, Canadian or UK passport it makes the whole process a hell of a lot harder for me to be competitive.

So, I've been looking outside the Games Industry at stable employment.

I guess if I get it, I'll go with an open mind and try and enjoy a new experience.

Anzac Day

Although I'm pretty much a pacifist (although I think politicians who favour party over people should be hung) I'm someone who appreciates Anzac Day.

I've have a few friends who either are or were in the Forces, and plus my Uncle and Aunts served too, so there's army blood in me.

Also, whilst at times I've argued that the wars the Anzacs fought in didn't make a difference to the overall working of the world - for all Hitler's posturing, he was still a capitalist and capitalism has a way of making sure no matter who thinks they're in charge it's the correct functioning of capitalism which is most important - the fact of the matter is those people who fought, survived and died in those wars believed they could make a difference, and were willing to fight for that.

Because that's what is important - willingness to die for a cause, something intangible and noble.

I'll never fight for Australia, because it's only a freak accident I was born here.

But I would fight for my beliefs and my rights, because they're something I think I've earned, and more importantly, deserve to keep.

Looking for work, again.

Ok, so I missed a few days.

But it's going much better than I expected. I've posted 5 days out of 7, which I think is a record.

My social life is catching up with me so just a short post today.

I'm on the look out for a new job, so to anyone in the Games Industry if you have a Senior QA Lead or Assistant Producer role available, let me know via the links in my profile.

Anyone else, if you need a Writer/Journalist/Communications Officer, IT /Office Manager, or QA tester, again please let me know!

More layoffs

There were more layoffs at Krome today.

This time it was mostly in Brisbane, but about 5 guys in Melbourne were let go too, which makes it near 100 people in the last 3 months, or a third of the company.

How can an industry which makes so much money be laying off so many people?

I mean, I know why, it's just that no one seems to give a shit.

Everyone is jumping on the mobile/facebook bandwagon, and that might make you a quick buck, but it's terrible for long term stability of the industry.

Problem is, if we're not careful there won't be anyone left in Australia to make games any more - not big budget PS3 / Xbox360 / Wii titles any way.

I used to agree with Walshy when he said Australian Games companies didn't need Government support. His argument was that if we had government support, we'd be forced to make silly games that were culturally relevant to Australia, pretty much like film has to. There's no market for that kind of thing outside Australia, and it's devoting resources away from the main income sources for games companies.

I mean, can you imagine Rabbit Proof Fence: The Game?

But it's obvious to me now that was a misguided and somewhat short sighted statement.


Sure, no one could have predicted the Global Financial Crisis, but if we secured tax breaks for Australian Games Studios, Krome and the other studios that have bled staff and even closed down over the last year would have been buffered from it like other industries have been.

And looking at other film funding initiatives - mostly state based - there's hardly any requirement to be culturally relevant.

And so what if there was? Make a silly game for school kids based on Ned Kelly's life for example, then make something decent for wider audience - at least there would be people still employed. It would be no different to the current projects Krome is trying to become involved in (which, due to NDA agreements, I can't go into).

RIP GURU

Just found out it's being reported that GURU of Gangstarr and Jazzmatazz fame has lost his fight with Cancer.

I'm holding out hope it's not true, but he has been sick for a while now according to other things I've read.

I talked to Guru for a few minutes a few years ago, and he was gracious and kind.

RIP

Cool for Cats

I have no love for Kim Kardashian and her fake tits and vacuous personality

Iin fact if I was to choose saving her over saving a cute little kitty cat, it'd be the cat every time.

At least it's in a cat's nature to be a total cunt. Kim has a choice.

But the hate for her about the cat holding is ridiculous beyond even the incredible size of her fake tits.

Have you ever seen a mother kitty pick up it's little kitty in it's claws and carry it in it's little front paws as it walks on it hind legs as it carries it gently to it's bed?

NO!

Cats are carried by the scruff of their neck!

It's natural. It's the way cats evolved. 

 

There is no way Kardashian would hurt that cat holding it like that.

You know, unlike most of these fucking retards in Animal Liberation groups like PETA, I've read Singer's book on Animal Liberation, and in many ways I do agree and share a similar stance.

But the extremism of these fucking stupid  PETA wanker is worse than the Catholics in their perversion of nature. 

 

They've taken what could was a beneficial response to a situation and corrupted it by taking it to the extreme limits of human comprehension, along the way forgetting their purpose and goals.

 

Supporters of PETA are a fucking disgrace to the human race.

 

Fuck I hate PETA. Fuck off you shit excuses for human beings.

Doh!

I wrote a big post about Public Transport on my iPhone, but discovered after closing the blogger app it doesn't save it unless you press "save".

Oh well, live and learn.

...

I think it's so cool so many people are impressed when I tell them I work for a games company.

I was on the phone to this girl about my banking issues, and she started talking about how none of the people in her office play videogames, and thinks it was cool how I did.

In retrospect, I probably should have asked her out...